Sunday, November 26, 2006

Strunk und Drang

Thanks to Jessi Guilford for this comment. Now I can write this with reasonable grammatical confidence:
The attorneys general’s store on Granadillo wishes to announce that the good behavior barter tokens can now be used to purchase food items, including John Ashcroft’s homemade beef jerky, which by the way is now halāl and bears a label saying it is prepared by “George Dhabiĥa Bush” (this is a pun, but it really is halāl now); for those of you who do not trust us (and why would you?! We know!!), Janet Reno’s apple butter is still (still!) available in gift packs of eight, and also Alberto Gonzales joke about water boarding maybe something to do with a snorkel? Will fill in later. Thanks, etc.
Again, thanks to Jessi. I think you’ll agree that the world is better now that I typed that.

Friday, November 24, 2006

passive possessive

My Strunk & White is all the way across the room and my foot’s asleep, so quickly please, people:
What’s the plural possessive of “attorney general”?

Yes, I know the plural is “attorneys general”, please listen, I need the plural possessive.

Oh, and it’s a store that they’re possessing:

“Attorneys’ general store” ..?
No, that can’t be right.

THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM NOW.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Something Awesome Just Happened

I went downstairs to the basement of my building to get a slice of pizza and the pizza place was blasting "Coward of the County" by Kenny Rogers.

I haven't heard that song in twenty years. See, Life? That's all it takes. Instant Good Day. Please work harder at this.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

For some reason I was just thinking about this

Remember when Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf was claiming there were no American troops in Baghdad, even though Baghdad was like eight seconds away from falling and there were American tanks a few blocks away?

“Baghdad cannot be besieged!”
That was funny, LOL.

Unrelated:

crazy like a fox

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Santa Claus Machine!

If anyone out there has one of these, I’ve lost the wrench from Clue. I have the version from 1960.
Can you make me one? It will take like two seconds.

I just need the wrench.


[I’ve been reading about these forever, but I’ve never seen one in action. In fact, probably best to just skip down to the video, and try to ignore such drolleries as “Maybe in the future we can draw a lot of things like a new wife” and “After the girls play now it tech guy to make some magic”. Out of the way, Ladies! Math class is hard!]

Friday, November 03, 2006

Answers to Last Tuesday’s Pop Quiz in Early Romantics

(1) Because her name is made up of two sacrificial people from Biblical times who were unable to commit sins (specifically, Christ and Able[sic]) [*]

(2) The number of up-beated words are always the same, even though the number of down-beated words can vary from line to line [*]

(3) antimetabole

(4) She has characteristics of mythological creatures, like [“labia” crossed out] lamia, vampires, zombies, bisexuals [**]

(5) They did not know what it was about and were tired of him not finishing poems and did not like the phrase “mastiff bitch” or the owl noises [*]

(6) [**]

(7) Hazlitt




* Half credit.
** Marked incorrect.

Interesting Trivia About Notable Evolutionists

The name “Jean Baptiste Pierre Antoine de Monet, Chevalier de Lamarck” contains every letter in the alphabet.



That I care about.