Tuesday, January 27, 2009

a new day

This made me laugh.
(although I wonder if there are implications we're not considering).

And this? From like two Augusts ago?
I read it every so often to feel better when I read stupid things.

David Rees please turn into a woman and marry me in an alternate universe where I am single, not that I want that because I love my wife and family I am just trying to convey you are awesome, sorry I started talking before I had thought out the implications.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Self Development


Self Development
Originally uploaded by mrbikferd


(Hodgman looks lonely by himself there in "Self-Development"; maybe I'll buy the audio book for this to keep him company. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH SOUP OR HORSES OR LOVE OR PASSION OR ACHIEVEMENT OR DEVOTION)

Amabo Kcarab



(by Sam)

(that's the Washington Monument on the left)

(also: BLUE SHOES!)

NAC EW SEY!

Monday, January 19, 2009

0sil9

I don't know when this happened, because I usually read it in the RSS Reader, but Jason Kottke redesigned his site:

Do not bother trying to turn off your greasemonkey script -- it is supposed to be like that.

Initial Questions
  • Is the red/white/blue just up for the inauguration?
  • Or is it just up until the first disappointment from the new president?
  • Did he use dozens of spacer gifs and five concentric tables, and was it a bitch to code?
  • Is he going to change the "burn-your-eyes-out yellow-green" favicon to match?
  • If not, why does he want our eyes to burn?
  • If our eyes are burning, can we still use ClearEyes even though its spokesperson is Ben Stein, and Ben Stein sounds like kind of a dickhole?
  • Is Public School Intelligentsia still up for some hardcore half-naked hand holding or has Kottke taken it too far?
  • If Jason Kottke were really good at the internet, then why is the olliekottke.com domain still available?
  • Some other questions I'll have to think of later because we're out of eggs and this is preventing the making of cookies
Regardless, happy almost eleventh anniversary, kottke.org

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Update: Oh.

Friday, January 16, 2009

"View From Below" / "Rugs by Style"

Alex Balk linked to this this Naomi Wolf piece in New York; therefore I was reading it.

If you like synergy, read on!

Here is a line from this piece:
In my gym, the 40-year-old women have adult pubic hair; the twentysomethings have all been trimmed and styled.

And here is the ad I had at the top of the page:

View From Below... Rugs by Style
RUGS BY STYLE = SO HELPFUL. THANKS, NEIMAN MARCUS!

For a follow-up article on prostitution, the store plans an ad referencing the "Neiman Marcus $250 Cookie".

Checkmates

This is sort of funny (youtube link), I guess. Kind of.
I'm going to say: worth it for the understated last line.

OK, But: check out around 1:29! I have that coffee mug!

When we registered at Crate & Barrel, due to we were getting married? These green mugs were the only thing(s) I wanted, and my mom bought them for me! Only 20% are now broken which is way beating the average for Crate & Barrel beverage containers.

This is the most excited I've felt since Family Ties when the Keatons would drink juice out of the same juice glasses my family had.

Now that I've typed that, I realize these are sort of similar events.

Also, I was excited to get married, I should say.

And look, I happened to find this picture of one of the mugs on my computer:




This is a pretty typical game for me, actually.

I usually go 1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 d6 3. Bb5+ Bd7 4. Bxd7+ Qxd7 5. c4 Nc6 6. Nc3 Nf6 7. O-O g6 8. d4 cxd4 9. Nxd4 Bg7 10. Nde2 Qe6 11. Nd5 Qxe4 12. Nc7+ Kd7 13. Nxa8 Qxc4 14. Nb6+ axb6 15. Nc3 Ra8 16. a4 Ne4 17. Nxe4 Qxe4 18. Qb3 f5 19. Bg5 Qb4 20. Qf7 Be5 21. h3 Rxa4 22. Rxa4 Qxa4 23. Qxh7 Bxb2 24. Qxg6 Qe4 25. Qf7 Bd4 26. Qb3 f4 27. Qf7 Be5 28. h4 b5 29. h5 Qc4 30. Qf5+ Qe6 31. Qxe6+ Kxe6 32. g3 fxg3 33. fxg3 b4 34. Bf4 Bd4+ 35. Kh1 b3 36. g4 Kd5 37. g5 e6 38. h6 Ne7 39. Rd1 e5 40. Be3 Kc4 41. Bxd4 exd4 42. Kg2 b2 43. Kf3 Kc3 44. h7 Ng6 45. Ke4 Kc2 46. Rh1 d3 47. Kf5 b1=Q 48. Rxb1 Kxb1 49. Kxg6 d2 50. h8=Q d1=Q 51. Qh7 b5 52. Kf6+ Kb2 53. Qh2+ Ka1 54. Qf4 b4 55. Qxb4 Qf3+ 56. Kg7 d5 57. Qd4+ Kb1 58. g6 Qe4 59. Qg1+ Kb2 60. Qf2+ Kc1 61. Kf6 d4 62. g7 1-0, and if I'm not winning at that point, then I knock all the pieces off the board like this.

Yes, I'm working from home today.
Why?

It's not the temperature; it's the haze


When I got up, it was negative 11, and the glass of water by the window had frozen at the top. Thanks, storm windows and halfassed weatherstripping. Nice work.
NOTE: I AM BEING SARCASTIC.

If this were a Forgotten Realms campaign, I would totally pray to Auril, the fickle Frostmaiden who crouches at the edges of the Great Glacier, LOL.

Um, I mean: NEEEEERRRRDS!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Almost Two-Year-Old Interview with Tony Millionaire Travels Through Time to Make Me Laugh

Would you be interested in taking on a full Batman book?
Yeah, I’ve actually pitched them a few before.

What kind of stories did you pitch?
I had one where Batman went completely broke. His corporation went completely broke. He was like, ‘should I throw this Batarang? These cost me $550 each. I’m not really sure I can afford to throw it. I should probably just run.’

More here and here.

Advanced Hokey Pokey

(1) Nostril

(2) Hernia of Morgagni

(3) Islets of Langerhans

(4) Lunnule

(5) Canthus

(6) NetShare App

(7) Copy of 1997 Kevin Klein vehicle In & Out
(extremely advanced due to potential Epimenides paradox)


(8) sack (in the bottle); then bottle (in the sack)
(Zork joke; proceed)

(9) Ambition

(10) Idealism

(11) Joy

(12) Hope

(13) Sense of Wonder

(14) Glans

sometimes a great notion

Following the one-two punch of a Wall-E viewing and a reading of The Lorax, my four-year-old and I have been talking a lot about recycling and taking care of the Earth. It's a frustrating business, but Sam had a plan to make everyone except the people we know leave the planet.

Tempting!
But we explained why that wouldn't work.

A few nights ago, we were talking about it again and he said, "I don't like it when people cut down trees to make paper," and I said, "Yeah, I know, but that's where paper comes from, mostly," and he said, "That's the part about the environment I don't like."

Last night we talked about it again, and he said he wanted me to email everyone and tell them, "Don't chop down trees to make paper. Just use recycled paper."

So that's what I'm doing (putting it here because I don't have your email).

Hey you: Stop chopping down trees.
Just use recycled paper.

Idea #2: you could also just read everything for free on the Internet and continue this millennium's practice of undoing all the work of the last millennium.

Friday, January 09, 2009

new math

Queneau's "Exercises in Style"
[times]
Michael O'Donoghue on a Good Day
[minus]
sort-of-racist-toward-Chinese-people?
[minus]
True Love Waits
[plus]
finishing school
[times]
awesome
[equals]

The Recently Deflowered Girl
by Mel Juffe and Edward Gorey

Not in any of the Amphigoreys, and I never saw it upstairs at Gotham Book Mart (which I knew had closed, which was sad, but I didn't know how severely it had closed) and just really really amazing.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Mysterious Sweet Smell from 2005 Returns to Manhattan

Via NYT.

Fear not, New Yorkers! I think I have the answer:
The entirety of the city’s homeless have come down with branched-chain ketoaciduria.


All of these places are to be avoided until further notice unless you want me to make the joke “Urophagia? I don’t even know ya.”

Don’t make me make that joke

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Update: Oh.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Here you can see how much I have invested emotionally in GoodReads.com Part II

Tickle Me, Pooh! (Touch-and-Feel) Tickle Me Pooh! by Walt Disney


rating: 1 of 5 stars


From the title, I thought that this would be a book about a pirate who was into coprophilia.

NOT SO. DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE AFTER.


[previously]

Friday, January 02, 2009

Why is Dora crying?


Is it because she's an Indian?
And someone littered?


I meant: "Native American".

This ad is tricky! Because really it is Viacom threatening to pull its content from Time Warner if Time Warner doesn't pay them more for Viacom's programming.

Hey, Viacom, we do not inherit the land from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children, LOL.


Alternate title for this post: Viacom Dios.