One Person Trend Stories are this summer's Lonelygirl15 (advice to Lonelygirl15 people if that's still going on: turn it into a tumblr and people will pay attention again).
But what everyone doesn't know is what my favorite part of each one is.
As a public service announcement: This is my favorite part of each one.
When it comes, I always smile, and when it's not there, I feel weird all day.
It's like that homeless guy on La Salle that asks for non-McDonalds food and then regardless of the reply says "God bless you." When he wasn't there on Tuesday, everything got thrown off for me psychically. Thank God he was back on Wednesday.
No one buy that guy a home!
It will mess me up.
Showing posts with label lonelygirl15. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lonelygirl15. Show all posts
Friday, August 01, 2008
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Roundup
Worst Book of the Year: Special Topics in Calamity Physics
Best Book of the Year (Young Adult): Special Topics in Calamity Physics *
Best Film of the Year: I have a two year old and do not see movies any more. Sooo, I guess, Tai Shan doing somersaults? Was that this year?
Photo That Sums Up What I Do Instead of See Movies: This one.
Best Album that You Literally Can’t Stop Listening To But Then at About the Thirtieth Straight Time Through the Album You Start to Get Annoyed at What Originally Seemed Like Funny Quirks in Her Songwriting But Now Seem Like Obvious Weaknesses and You’ve Been Skipping Over That “Let’s Play Dress Up” Cover of Handle Me With Care the Past Fifteen Times Anyway But Then You Don’t Listen to it for a While and Then You Do Again and Amazingly It’s Completely Fresh Again and The Overall Experience is Like when the Palomino Got Sucked Into the Black Hole in the Film The Black Hole, Went Through What Looked Like Heaven and Hell (Appropriate For This Album, I Guess) and Came Out The Other Side and You Looked At Your Dad and Said, “What Happened?” and he Shrugged and Said, “They Just Went Through the Black Hole” of 2006: Rabbit Fur Coat, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
Best Gawker Post of 2006: Team Party Crash’s Spy Book Launch: I look forward to rereading it in 2008’s “Gawker: The Funny Months”.**
Eeriest Dead People Coincidence of 2006: Former US Leader Gerald Rudolph Ford and Former Iraqi Leader Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti died more or less around the same time! (What the--?!!?? How did that happen?!?!?!??) ***
Best Four Things That Are No Longer Planets of 2006: (1) Pluto; (2) Star Jones; (3) Al Roker; (4) Katie Couric****
Best Sandwich Until You Pay $9.50 For It And Then It’s Just OK of 2006: Meatloaf sandwich at ’wichcraft.
Worst Way to End 2006/Start 2007: Seeing Dick Clark kissing on his wife. (Imagine there’s no such thing as Dick Clark. Now imagine running into some guy that looks like Dick Clark. Now imagine that guy kissing on someone who is about as grotesque but is female.
I totally saw that.)*****
THAT IS ALL. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED IN 2006.
* N.B. on the promotional website, if you Ctrl+A the page, on the bottom right it says “aasdfsadf” which is computerese for “I typed some random characters with my left hand and didn’t bother to edit it out”; in an eerie coincidence, this is how the book was written (her right hand was busy patting herself on the back).
** I read Gawker religiously in three-day bursts that occur about every ten weeks, but among that subset, this joked on my face the hardest and reaffirmed my suspicion: even if I were participating in the things that make the city great and fun, I still probably wouldn’t know what I was doing. (Plus it introduced me to the practice of looking at Nikola Tamindzic’s photos at work in a very small Firefox window in the corner of my desktop with my mouse hovering over the “close” button, a totally fun practice.)
*** Also: Ford had a secretary named Saddam who warned him not to pardon Nixon and Hussein had no link to al-Qaeda but was a dick. (James Brown died too, but this was not eerie or a coincidence. Although they did have his body on display at the Apollo, which is kind of eerie, except that the eeriness is trumped by the awesomeness, except it probably means I’ll be on display in Gary Gygax’s attic or something.)
**** Number four applies only to CBS Promotional Photos. Otherwise, still a planet.
***** Sorry about the stroke or whatever, but pass the torch already; I know Seacrest has this in the bag, but for your consideration, my favorite Eternal Teenager is Dr. Z. Look at that punim. And every year his wife could wear a new giant hat and salute us for our bravery. I REALLY NEED TO BE SALUTED FOR MY BRAVERY MORE THIS YEAR, PLEASE.
Um, update, 1/03/07: Please do not salute my bravery. I am the least brave person of all time.
Best Book of the Year (Young Adult): Special Topics in Calamity Physics *
Best Film of the Year: I have a two year old and do not see movies any more. Sooo, I guess, Tai Shan doing somersaults? Was that this year?
Photo That Sums Up What I Do Instead of See Movies: This one.
Best Album that You Literally Can’t Stop Listening To But Then at About the Thirtieth Straight Time Through the Album You Start to Get Annoyed at What Originally Seemed Like Funny Quirks in Her Songwriting But Now Seem Like Obvious Weaknesses and You’ve Been Skipping Over That “Let’s Play Dress Up” Cover of Handle Me With Care the Past Fifteen Times Anyway But Then You Don’t Listen to it for a While and Then You Do Again and Amazingly It’s Completely Fresh Again and The Overall Experience is Like when the Palomino Got Sucked Into the Black Hole in the Film The Black Hole, Went Through What Looked Like Heaven and Hell (Appropriate For This Album, I Guess) and Came Out The Other Side and You Looked At Your Dad and Said, “What Happened?” and he Shrugged and Said, “They Just Went Through the Black Hole” of 2006: Rabbit Fur Coat, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
Best Gawker Post of 2006: Team Party Crash’s Spy Book Launch: I look forward to rereading it in 2008’s “Gawker: The Funny Months”.**
Eeriest Dead People Coincidence of 2006: Former US Leader Gerald Rudolph Ford and Former Iraqi Leader Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti died more or less around the same time! (What the--?!!?? How did that happen?!?!?!??) ***
Best Four Things That Are No Longer Planets of 2006: (1) Pluto; (2) Star Jones; (3) Al Roker; (4) Katie Couric****
Best Sandwich Until You Pay $9.50 For It And Then It’s Just OK of 2006: Meatloaf sandwich at ’wichcraft.
Worst Way to End 2006/Start 2007: Seeing Dick Clark kissing on his wife. (Imagine there’s no such thing as Dick Clark. Now imagine running into some guy that looks like Dick Clark. Now imagine that guy kissing on someone who is about as grotesque but is female.
I totally saw that.)*****
THAT IS ALL. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED IN 2006.
* N.B. on the promotional website, if you Ctrl+A the page, on the bottom right it says “aasdfsadf” which is computerese for “I typed some random characters with my left hand and didn’t bother to edit it out”; in an eerie coincidence, this is how the book was written (her right hand was busy patting herself on the back).
** I read Gawker religiously in three-day bursts that occur about every ten weeks, but among that subset, this joked on my face the hardest and reaffirmed my suspicion: even if I were participating in the things that make the city great and fun, I still probably wouldn’t know what I was doing. (Plus it introduced me to the practice of looking at Nikola Tamindzic’s photos at work in a very small Firefox window in the corner of my desktop with my mouse hovering over the “close” button, a totally fun practice.)
*** Also: Ford had a secretary named Saddam who warned him not to pardon Nixon and Hussein had no link to al-Qaeda but was a dick. (James Brown died too, but this was not eerie or a coincidence. Although they did have his body on display at the Apollo, which is kind of eerie, except that the eeriness is trumped by the awesomeness, except it probably means I’ll be on display in Gary Gygax’s attic or something.)
**** Number four applies only to CBS Promotional Photos. Otherwise, still a planet.
***** Sorry about the stroke or whatever, but pass the torch already; I know Seacrest has this in the bag, but for your consideration, my favorite Eternal Teenager is Dr. Z. Look at that punim. And every year his wife could wear a new giant hat and salute us for our bravery. I REALLY NEED TO BE SALUTED FOR MY BRAVERY MORE THIS YEAR, PLEASE.
Um, update, 1/03/07: Please do not salute my bravery. I am the least brave person of all time.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Happy Aleister Crowley’s Birthday!
And (maybe..?) goodbye to the best thing about this past summer (*); although I haven’t seen the last maybe five videos, I still hope you don’t die, Bree! I will miss your weird eyebrows!
Here is what we learned from all this:
(1) Everyone on the Internet is (a) stupid or (b) twelve years old.
This is the generation that’s supposed to be so net savvy? You are not net savvy. You are stupid and twelve.
(2) Everyone on the Internet is a boy.
I kept hoping someone would post a blog entry titled, “WHO IS DANIELBEAST!??!?!??!!?11!!!” (he’s YouTube’s John Krasinski). But nope. Plus I know three separate boys who bought the Jane Doe’s album that “Junkie” is on, because it was the background music for the “Swimming” video. GET OVER IT. IT'S A ONE-PIECE.
(3) Everyone providing content on the Internet is stupid.
Seriously. That's how you end it? Please call me next time. (I guess next we all move on to this? The product placement is more helpfully put up front for us, so we don't have to try as hard.)
(*)
And yet and yet and yet there was a period at one point this past summer when basically my homepage was “LG15 talk”. But now Fall is here (where “Fall” = “September 7th”, specifically the date of the “From the Creators” note) .
(Please indulge me.)
It turned colder. That’s where it ends.
So I told her we’d still be friends
Then we made our true love vow
Wonder what she’s doing now
Summer dreams ripped at the seams,
buut oh, those suummer naaahhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiights.
Take care, Yousef and Jessica! I will miss both of your eyebrows!
------------------------
UPDATE, SEVERAL WEEKS LATER:
No one died, and here’s what everyone thinks about it now.
Here is what we learned from all this:
(1) Everyone on the Internet is (a) stupid or (b) twelve years old.
This is the generation that’s supposed to be so net savvy? You are not net savvy. You are stupid and twelve.
(2) Everyone on the Internet is a boy.
I kept hoping someone would post a blog entry titled, “WHO IS DANIELBEAST!??!?!??!!?11!!!” (he’s YouTube’s John Krasinski). But nope. Plus I know three separate boys who bought the Jane Doe’s album that “Junkie” is on, because it was the background music for the “Swimming” video. GET OVER IT. IT'S A ONE-PIECE.
(3) Everyone providing content on the Internet is stupid.
Seriously. That's how you end it? Please call me next time. (I guess next we all move on to this? The product placement is more helpfully put up front for us, so we don't have to try as hard.)
(*)
And yet and yet and yet there was a period at one point this past summer when basically my homepage was “LG15 talk”. But now Fall is here (where “Fall” = “September 7th”, specifically the date of the “From the Creators” note) .
(Please indulge me.)
It turned colder. That’s where it ends.
So I told her we’d still be friends
Then we made our true love vow
Wonder what she’s doing now
Summer dreams ripped at the seams,
buut oh, those suummer naaahhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiights.
Take care, Yousef and Jessica! I will miss both of your eyebrows!
------------------------
UPDATE, SEVERAL WEEKS LATER:
No one died, and here’s what everyone thinks about it now.
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