how to make me sad

It makes me sad when I try to make a joke and people (1) take it seriously and (2) respond to the joke earnestly; therefore, this post on this "collaborative" blog that hasn't been updated in over two years due to lack of energy and/or interest by two of the authors and the fictionalness of another author makes me sad.

Someone should really do something, or something.

GTA IV

I don't have an Xbox or a PlayStation and although my kids are named Sam and Max, I am fairly terrible at video games (also: I have kids), but I totally want to play this because all of the reviews talk about how it recreates [a satiric representation of]* 4/5 of the boroughs, including many of the restaurants, and as irritating a Midtown was, I find myself missing it at times (mostly when I'm trying to find decent food in The Loop), and if this game allows me to drive over to the crêpe lady at the Cyber Cafe on 49th and 8th one more time, for old time's sake, it would be totally worth it.

NOTE WELL: I promise I will not shoot her after she makes me crêpes just to get my money back, because then: no more crêpes.


* w/r/t the "satire", from the little I've read it sounds like how National Lampoon used to get away with "negro jokes" because they were both "jokes themselves" and "jokes about the kinds of people who tell those kinds of jokes".
Which: when Jesse Thorn talks about "New Sincerity" I think he really means "Being Younger than 25" but if it means not having those kinds of jokes maybe it's 20% OK?

I mean, it's obviously too late for me; I came of age reading Suck. That's why I want to play Grand Theft Auto and not like Katamari Damacy or Viva Piñata or something.

ATTN: 14 year olds looking for Lola Del Rio: you are barking up the wrong tree!
Crêpes are totally New Sincerity.

Hook me up, Shearn!