Monday, November 05, 2007

Skin Disease: A Survey

Shingles
Caused by stress, so it's only contagious if you think it is: THIS APPEALS TO OUR SENSE OF IRONY! Nice work, Shingles!

Hot Tub Folliculitis
Tip o' the hat to the 1970s!

Behçet's Disease
"Well? Shall we have mouth ulcers?"
"Yes, let's have mouth ulcers."
They do not move.

Paget's Disease of the Nipple
(1) We couldn't say the word "nipple" without thinking of the cover of Exile in Guyville for about nine years after that album came out; (2) Is this really named that for real?

Boils
A classic.

Carbuncles
Is this different from boils? We're not sure, but it's the most inherently funny word we can think of right now, except for maybe "schmarbunkles".

Schmarbunkles
My dad died from this.

Bedsores
A major subplot from the "Rip Van Winkle" story in early drafts of The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon by Washington Irving, it was suppressed by the publisher, who, wait, that book was called "The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon"? Really? WTF?

Impetigo
Kind of looks like you were trying to eat Fruity Pebbles, and not succeeding..? It is also known as "the kissing disease... maybe if you are blind?!?!?"

Fifth Disease
Laaaaaame. Please try harder, Integumentary Disease Taxonomists.

Cherry Angioma
If you can say this three times in a row and have it not be to the tune of "Gary, Indiana" from The Music Man then maybe we weren't meant to go steady, Brian.

Shipoopi
"Shipoopi" is actually a song from The Music Man and you didn't know that. Strike two, Brian.

Marjolin's Ulcer
You have this. Strike three.

Bullous Pemphigoid
We were just thinking that this sounds like a character in a Douglas Adams book, and then we remembered Douglas Adams was dead, and we all got really sad. Fuck you, Bullous Pemphigoid.

Seriously. Just, fuck you.

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