Entrapment

or:
I Use Google Chat to Supply Content For My Seldom-Updated Blog, Which Is Probably Bad Form

recbee: Hey Shearn: have a good death match tomorrow

moonlightambulette: Oy! Jeezus. Thanks. I'm a skeered.

recbee: here's a tip when facing a literary adversary: try to picture them without their eyewear

moonlightambulette: Ew! They all just look like moles that way.

recbee: They all look like Avogadro's number?? What are you talking about? Is this explained in your book?

moonlightambulette: Yes, it is explained in the book. But only in the hardcover edition. and only if bought new. and in bulk.

recbee: That is a good strategy. If I ever write a book; I'm going to do the hardcover in invisible "Yes/Know" ink and only include the decoding pen in the softcover.

moonlightambulette: Hey. You might be on to something there...

recbee: And then the audio book could detail how to make an antidote for the carcinogens that you absorbed using the first two books. I ACTUALLY MAY BE ONTO SOMETHING

moonlightambulette: HOLY SHIT YOU'RE GOING TO BE RICH

recbee: I AM GOING TO POST THIS ON MY BLOG SO EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU SWEAR IN YOUR IM'S

moonlightambulette: FUCKING FUCK. I'M OUT OF HERE

The proprietrix of Moonlight Ambulette, whom I have just demonstrated swears like a stevedore (and who broke up my writing group with her terrifying insouciance), has a book coming out.* The word on the street is that this book is terrific and also that the title of the book was once shouted by a sleeping Dave Eggers. This is a coincidence!

People of Earth: It would be nice of you to buy this book.
And New Yorkers specifically: You can see her tonight (Wednesday the 25th) at Opium Magazine's Literary Death Match where, based on the above exchange, she may or may not be LASIKing people with her mind.
Other People With Whom I Have Engaged in Google Chat: I will probably not betray you like this, assuming you have not broken up a writing group I was in.


* as do other people from my old writing group; for real, if you want a book published, join a writing group with me. Not all of my stories will be about eleven year olds in suburban Texas where pseudomagicrealist things happen! Not all of them fall under the category "Like David Mitchell If David Mitchell Had Zero Intellectual Rigor"!