Thursday, October 19, 2006

TAFT!

Who’s the 27th President
That’s a sex machine with all the residents?
TAFT!
(You’re damn right.)

Who defended the Payne-Aldrich Act
And had a cow named Pauline in the White House?
THAT DOESN’T RHYME, BUT I THINK IT’S TAFT AGAIN!
(Can you dig it?)

Who served as Chief Justice on the Supreme Court after he was President?
UM, TAFT?
(Damn straight.)
REALLY? THAT’S WEIRD. WHAT ARE YOUR SOURCES?
(Wikipedia and books)

THEY SAY THAT WIKIPEDIA IS A BAD MOTHER--
(Shut your mouth)
I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT TAFT.
(Then we can dig it.)

EPILOGUE:
Richard Roundtree was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1993 and has since been an advocate for cancer awareness.

“Roundtree” was William Howard Taft’s “Skull and Bones” nickname. Because he was fat.

(Fat like a damn tree.)

Taft died 12 years before Roundtree was born, which is a total coincidence because there are 12 letters in “moustachioed” which is something both of them are, N.B.


Taft had a secretary named “Richard Roundtree” who warned him to stop having obstructive sleep apnea and Richard Roundtree had a personal trainer named “Olmstead v. United States” that warned him not to do “Shaft in Africa”.

Every proper name in that previous sentence has a number of letters that can be multiplied by 12.

Both men want the Mets to win tonight.
Don’t fuck up, Perez.


v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^
7.11.08: Update, like 1.75 years later: Elephant Larry does an infinitely better version of this joke.
Thanks for reminding me I suck, Elephant Larry.

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