Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Our 69,105th post

My son just turned two, but about six months ago, I told him “Sam, go into your room and get a book and bring it out here,” and he did it, and I thought at the time, “Wow, he’s as smart as an Infocom game.”

This morning, though, when I was putting on his diaper, he rolled over onto his stomach, and I said, “Sam, flip over” and I got no response, so I said, “Sam, flip over so I can change your diaper,” and I got no response, so I said, “Flip over, Sam,” and got no response, so finally I said, “Sam, roll over,” and he did, which means he’s actually only as smart as “King’s Quest”.

Still pretty good! Keep up the good work!


I’m the kind of “really excited” that is “unfortunate for everyone around me” about “Get Lamp”, the documentary about text adventures that Jason Scott is working on. Those games meant way too much to me when I was eleven and a half.
A year or so ago, I was reading a list of bugs/nonsensical responses that you could get from the games, and it made them seem more intelligent (like the game was countering my nonsense with its own nonsense) or more realistic (in the reality of the game when you put a bottle into a sack and then try to put the sack into the bottle, of course they would both disappear).

Here is my all-time favorite bug, from Zork III:

> DUNGEON MASTER, KILL ME WITH THE STAFF
"If you wish," he replies.
If you insist... Poof, you're dead!
**** The dungeon master has died ****
The dungeon master follows you.
Your sword has begun to glow very brightly.

Compare that to Monday:

> ATTEMPT TO RUN REAL PLAYER ON MY WORK COMPUTER
“An exception 06 has occurred at 0028:C1183ADC in VxD DiskTSD(03)” the computer replies.
If you insist... Poof, you blue screened!
**** Your computer has died****
Your monitor has begun to glow very brightly.

Tomorrow, I’m going to teach Sam that when someone says “Hello, Sailor” to him, he should respond with “Nothing happens here,” and that before we turn on his nightlight he should request that we “frotz” it.

I will not stop until he is as smart as “Cornerstone”, at which point Activision will pay all of his outstanding debt. That, plus the TAP 529 we started should give him a head start.

> GO SAM GO

3 comments:

moonlight ambulette said...

imagine. in a few years sam will be oregon trail! or montezuma's revenge!

if only you could have a QA team to check these kid/games over, and get rid of all those bugs before they're released. am i right?

Patrick M~ said...

In Oregon Trail, you can die of Montezuma's Revenge. I thought I'd point that out for any fans of synergy out there.

Jason Scott said...

You've sent a lot of very smart people my way. Thanks for that.

And kudos on the 69105 reference.