Someone should write like a murder mystery? That takes place at the Yankee Candle Flagship Store? And they could call it "Means, Votive and Opportunity (An Inspector Niles Mystery*)".
* or whoever
The victim could be like current CEO Craig Rydin and he could be offed in the Dip-Your-Own-Candle area maybe. The murderer could be someone from Madison Dearborn and be all, "I am sorry you must die, current CEO Craig Rydin, but it is nice that the last thing you smelled was Pumpkin Spice," and then Inspector Niles solves the case. He could be all, "It was the Madison Dearborn guy, in the flagship store, with the candlestick."
I'm pretty sure this is what Poe had in mind when he invented detective fiction.
THIS BASICALLY WRITES ITSELF SOMEONE DO THIS
Actually, I sort of just wrote this to see if it would show up on the "Blog Post" section of the Google Finance page for YCC. If you are reading this there, sell all of your stocks and write this book; it is a license to print money. This is not some microcap stock fraud thing; you will make so much money! Do this! Also please do not murder anyone.